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As he continues an inane one-sided chat right up to our date, I begin to gather that he thinks he's much more charming than I think he is. I inquire about his work, his family, his hopes and dreams - searching, nay, BEGGING, for one nugget of earnest decency.

January is also the dating “sweet spot”, with those who decide to log on to this month 15 per cent more likely to find a match compared to the rest of the year.

• I got walked out on on a date that seemed like it was going fairly well because I said I didn’t like french fries. • The date where the self-identified “artist” revealed her day job was working as a prison guard, and she spent much of our afternoon on a mumbled, paranoid rant about an anonymous “them” who were on the verge of their incipient take over of everything we hold dear. She ordered worth of lunch, which she wouldn’t touch because she was sure it was contaminated.

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[Edit: Potentially disturbing photo moved below the fold out of deference to the delicate sensibilities of the LGM readership.

Since we gathered a truly huge pile of data from our online dating survey, we’ve published advice about how to improve online dating for everyone, for folks who date men and folks who date women. And then, in a small section towards the end, some of them are .